Chevrolet Aveo

In a nutshell: Saif Ali Khan wants Rani Mukherji, for reasons known only to them both. She doesn't want him, of course. If she did, how would the mock car-chase cliche work? They race around pointlessly, in a brand of car presumably being advertised. When he finally catches up with her, he tries. Again. She drives off. Again. Thankfully, it all ends.

Why it sucks: 'You look like you need coffee,' he tells her, a line that would prompt most women to drive off or, in the absence of their own automobile, run to a rickshaw. In response to a question on how she likes her coffee, she replies,' Alone.' I'm not sure how that reply fits the question. 'How do you take your coffee?' could — and this is stretching it quite a bit — the response, 'Alone.' Then again, why drive around only to come up with a reply that shows no sign of intelligence? Would you want to date a woman this obtuse? And yes, what brand was it again? What do I, the consumer, find out about the car? Is there anything in that long, boring ad that makes me want to buy that particular car? I can't remember the name of the damn thing, for Chrissake, which means I have to wait for the ad in order to find out.

Possible solution: Both actors mouth dialogues from their respective pointless films. Only this time, they mouth them to the car, and tweak the dialogues to incorporate mention of the car's features, so consumers can think about whether they want to consider buying the thing or not. Or, sticking to the same childish storyboard, but giving the poor actors something slightly more intelligent to say, instead of making them both look more stupid than they usually do in advertisements featuring them. Or, dumping both actors and somehow finding a way to talk about THE CAR, considering that's what they're being paid to do in the first place. What was the brand again? Who cares? I'm not waiting for the miserable ad to find out. Fire the copywriter.